The Goat Jumped Into the Pool and Other Random Thoughts

     Once there was a grumpy goat. Stirring his coffee, he brooded over the despicable humans: how to plot their demise. They were so mean, wasteful, and disgusting, he didn't know what to do. Overwhelmed with rage, Mr. Grumpy Goat tossed over his table, coffee pot and all.

     Meanwhile, Rylie walked by Mr. Grumpy Goat's house. Hearing a raucous roar, she naturally knocked on the door.

     Peering around it, she at first couldn't see anything. But then, looking up, she saw Mr. Grumpy Goat prancing on the ceiling. He was letting out long, bleating goat noises, like most normal goats. But Mr. Grumpy Goat had always spoken English. She was puzzled.

     "Mr. Grumpy Goat?"

     Startled, he bleated louder.

     "What's wrong?"

     After several minutes debating how to get the obnoxious goat off the ceiling, Rylie coolly thought of a plan. She threw him a paintbrush, sloppy with wet paint: "Catch!"

     He caught it deftly (for a goat).

     The words he spelled out were crude, unlike his typical handwriting.


     "You what?" Rylie asked, taken aback.

     For she was human.

     "You ate humans?" she gulped, terrified.

     Mr. Grumpy Goat shook his head violently. On the ceiling he added an H before ATE.


     Reading it again, the girl sassily retorted, "Well, don't hate us. We aren't so bad. We care for each other. We dance and read and play and sing and write beautiful things. We aren't mean to goats either. Besides, you aren't exactly nice to us."

     She  gaped, startled at her own speech and Mr. Grumpy Goat's falling from the ceiling.

     "I believe you," he said thoughtfully. "I have been a very grumpy goat. I really love humans. I was just mean before. I am really really really sorry."

     The little girl in a prim red dress stepped into the street.

     She and Mr. Giddy Goat (at least, she called him that after his transformation...everyone else simply called him Mr. Goat) walked arm-in-arm down the street.

     Mr. Giddy Goat lived up to his new name by being so excited that he scampered away and jumping into a swimming pool.


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