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Imperfectionism: Removing an Unwanted Perfectionist Label

 

This post is the second of five in a series that I am calling Imperfectionism. It's about holding ourselves to a standard of God's grace, not perfection. Read 'em and keep [the lessons you learn].

     Welcome to this series on "imperfectionism," a word you can definitely find in the dictionary. ;) I hope you enjoyed the imperfect poem I published yesterday. Today we'll be diving deeper into what I mean by this made-up word.

     Growing up, I did not want to be seen as the "good girl," yet this is the identity that several Sunday school teachers and AWANA leaders had begun to pin on me. At the age of thirteen, I read Emily P. Freeman's Graceful while my mom read Grace for the Good Girl. Together, my mom and I learned that God does not require us to be all put-together on the outside.

     I desired to be known for grace, not the false guise of perfection.

     I knew two things: I am not perfect, and my achievements are not supposed to bring me glory. So I resisted the people (mainly adults) in my life who tried to elevate me above my peers to some ridiculous standard.

     When they would say, "Oh, of course Madeline already finished," or "If only all of you were as smart as Madeline," I felt sick to my stomach.

     This was not supposed to be my reputation as an imperfect but redeemed child of God. When it was appropriate, I began to verbally and humbly contradict these statements: "Actually, I'm behind in my work," or "I'm not smarter than anyone else. I just happened to have extra time this week."

     These experiences I had in middle school and high school of battling Perfectionist and Achiever labels have shaped much of my thinking into college and young adulthood. I am resistant to praise that is inaccurate and elevates me instead of God. Yet only recently have I been able to put words to these realizations with my new post-college mentor.

     Adults in my childhood and adolescence tried to label me a perfectionist.

     My parents never put this pressure on me; for that, I am forever grateful. The two adults who knew me the best did not have unrealistic expectations, and they wanted me to be myself in any given situation.

     As an enneagram three, I still have my own personal goals and accomplishments, but I am not striving for a perfect record at anything in my life. I haven't been looking for perfection because I see how unrealistic and unachievable perfection is.

     If you're a recovering perfectionist or just trying to get out from the label of Perfectionist, this one goes out to you. I see you. I get you. Do not give in to the standards and pressures all around you.

     Your tendency to seek perfection is not your identity, and neither is the way others view you.

     Instead of giving in to these things, stand your ground in freedom. Know that you are a child of God and nothing you do or don't do will ever remove that standing, thank you very much.

~Madeline

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