How I Stopped Negative, Repetitive Thoughts

     About a year ago, I found myself spiraling in negative thought patterns. The same self-deprecating ideas popped into my head time and time again. I did not know how to stop them. I tried telling myself not to think about those negative things because they were not completely true, but my heart kept choosing to believe them and repeat them.

     This example may sound ridiculous at first, but this is a reminder we all need when we keep telling ourselves to "stop thinking like that" or "stop thinking about that." It's the purple elephant.

     Telling yourself to "stop thinking about purple elephants" just makes you think about purple elephants. You have to think about green giraffes to forget the other image in your head.

     The idea is that you need to use truth to replace the lies in your head or else you'll keep spiraling and will feel guilty for doing so. My mentor at the time reminded me to counteract my negative thoughts with something true that corresponded to the area I was insecure about.

     This had an incredibly positive effect on me as I slowly identified the negative idea in my head, such as "my opinion is not valuable" or "they don't think I'm funny, so I must not be" with the opposite. Identifying the opposite does require a bit of belief in the opposite. You cannot make yourself believe "everyone thinks I am funny all the time," but you can convince yourself of how your dad jokes come from your close relationship with your father and that you are quirky.

     After a week of coming up with my own list of believable truths that directly opposed my negative thoughts, here is the set of truths about myself that I read aloud to my mentor on the coffee shop porch one bright afternoon:

1. I don’t need to feel bad about myself, not because no one is being mean to me, but because the Lord loves me no matter what.
2. I am fun, funny, and quirky. My dad loves me and has influenced my sense of humor.
3. My opinion is valuable.
4. When my worst fear is realized, I have nothing else to fear.
5. I am an amazing friend and so good at loving people, and I deserve good friendships! 
6. I’m a blessing.
7. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
8. I’m not the world’s standard of beauty, but I am beautiful.
9. I’m not fat.
10. Just because she’s different, doesn’t mean she’s better than me.
11. I’m as on top of things as IIIIII am supposed to be in this season of MY life.
12. I am not more validated if a guy is into me.

     This list is unedited and raw. I hope at least one of those truths correlates to a lie you can combat. We need armor for this battle for our mind, and Scripture is one of the best ways to fill our hearts with truth. Truth 7 comes from Psalm 139:14.

Romans 9:16

"It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God’s mercy."

     This Scripture reminds us that there is nothing we can do to get to God. It has everything to do with what He has done for us. If you find yourself struggling with negative thoughts, know that you are not alone. We are all weak and frail, constantly falling away from the God we say we love. God's love never fails us though.

     May He grant you the mercy to have a clear head and heart, full of wisdom and truth.

~Madeline