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My Word of the Year 2020



“Even while you wait for certain things to fall into place, may you never forget that you are free to thrive in this space; making the most of little things, making room for brand new things, fully living with all you have, even in your
in-betweens.”
—Morgan Harper Nichols

     I have put off writing this post for nine months. I didn't want to talk about surrender. I didn't even expect it to be my word of the year.

     However, my original resistance to the word in December/January spoke volumes about how much I needed to choose it and live it out in 2020. For context, my word of the year is a personal challenge to dive into discovering that word's unique meaning and role in my life.

     In 2020, as I have meditated on and lived out surrender, it has looked like:

staying home
being courageous
going on spontaneous trips
trusting God with my heart & all its feelings
asking God to remove specific sins in my life
allowing unknowns to stay unknown until they are revealed
holding onto God's promises to give me peace about the future
letting go of expectations, so He can use me exactly where I am
going with the flow when my last semester of college is cut short
watching my life unfold as He provides what I didn't even know I needed
&
fully living with all I have, even in the (many) in-between seasons

     Surrender has been the heartbeat of this year, more than I could have imagined.

     "Practice surrender," writes Morgan Harper Nichols...
"Practice surrender,
For letting go will not be easy.
But as sure as the river in the wild
keeps flowing
peace will flow all the same
even when the closeness
is gone
and nothing feels the same
let every day be a day you fall into grace anyway."

     The poet-artist has several other excellent quotes about surrender. Below are a few of my favorites.


     Ultimately, I have pieced together my own definition of surrender: the courage to let go of circumstances, changes, and in-betweens, so I can trust God with my unknowns in the peace that He sees the bigger picture of my life.

     Get this: there is no peace, no surrender without the trustworthy God of peace. This truth makes me so thankful for my relationship with Him, especially in a joyful season of life (graduation, adulthood, freedom, first job) tempered by a year of fear and uncertainty (sickness, unrest, relationships, job searching). I knew 2020 would be a year of transitionchanges that could not be avoidedbut I had no idea how much courage and peace I would need from the Lord to live well in a year where everyone seems to be barely surviving.

     Every month of this year, I have found something new for which I can trust the Lord.

     Time after time, I have had to let go of my expectations and plans to make way for the Lord's perfect peace in the unknowns of my personal life or in the chaos of the world. Turns out, it's better that way!

Story Time: An example of surrender in my life this year

     In February, one of my dearest friends got engaged. She asked me to be a bridesmaid, and I knew there was nothing that would keep me from being there for her on her big day. I was fully there in spirit, though I did not know how I would get to Oklahoma or what my life would look like in September, their planned wedding date. I told her, "Yes, I will be there, no matter what!"

     Despite the chaos of a global pandemic, they moved their wedding day to May with the confidence that they should get married sooner rather than later. I was ecstatic that it fell on a weekend in which I was still free to stand by her side! God provided a beautiful last-minute dress, free lodging, and a working vehicle to carry me safely to and from the neighboring state all by myself.


     I got to be mask-free in Oklahoma, and my friend got to have her dream wedding instead of needing to cut the guest list to a handful of guests as so many young couples have had to do this year.

     In this one situationan example out of the dozens I have encountered this yearI have seen God's loving care and provision for myself and for others. He goes above and beyond to give His children good gifts: friendships and relationships, kitchen chairs, renewed joy, an internship for experience in their field, a job they look forward to, a ride from the airport, or a simple FaceTime call to lift their spirits.

     When we choose surrender, we are not in control, yet we are trusting the One who is. Keep your hands open to all He can give and take away. Let go of the pieces of your life that you idolize, and He will do a mighty work to redeem it all.

     My latest mantra: GO, though you may not KNOW, and then He will SHOW.

~Madeline

Other Words of the Year:
Kingdom (2019)

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