Dispelling the Myths of Adulthood

     Although I am relatively new to this whole adult life, I am learning things every day—both practically and conceptually—that shatter some of my preconceived childhood expectations for adulthood. I was, to put it bluntly, very wrong. Did I think that adults had it all figured out and never felt guilt or frustration or confusion? Maybe subconsciously, I did . . .

As a child, I thought that an adult blowing their life savings on any purchase was incredibly irresponsible.

As an adult, I see how easy it would be to spend one’s entire life savings on a car, a house, a wedding or honeymoon, etc. Adult things are expensive!

 

As a child, I believed adults had no free time but was told to “enjoy my freedom while it lasted.”

As an adult, I understand that a full-time job doesn’t mean a lack of freedom but a need to reprioritize and find a balance in each season of life.

 

As a child, I was excited for each new school year and its changes. In college, too, I delighted in the freshness of a new semester.

As an adult, I have encountered my first changing of the seasons that does not mean a change in my schedule. Full-time jobs don’t have semesters.

 

As a child, I thought you were an adult once you turned 18.

As an adult, I see how everyone has different levels of responsibility and not everyone feels like an adult—even if they’re in their thirties or forties!

As a child, I thought everyone grew up to become something.

As an adult, I know that not everyone grows up and those who do are not limited to just one role.

 

As a child, I was told that girls didn’t have to go to college but guys did need to.

As an adult, I realize that college is not everyone’s path, but everyone should have the opportunity to go to college. It’s certainly not based on gender roles.

 

As a child, I believed in soul mates, the idea that there is one person out there for you to marry.

As an adult, I no longer believe in perfect people and know that there are lots of guys out there I could be happy with. Marriage always involves two imperfect people.

 

As a child, I thought it was reasonable to get married at sixteen and have twelve children. This idea most likely stemmed from my paternal grandmother’s story and too many romantic books.

As an adult, I’d be much more comfortable with the idea of getting married in my twenties and having three to five children.

 

As a child, I occasionally heard “God’s will” talked about as a singular thing as if there is only one path for a person (that they’d better not deviate from).

As an adult, I believe Proverbs 3:5–6’s command with a promise—that when we trust in the Lord with all our hearts, He will direct our paths. This leaves a lot of choices (adult things like career, spouse, location, etc.) open to us while we’re obeying the Lord.

. . . turns out we don't have it all figured out.

     Yes, I have grown up. But it hasn’t been bad. It has been enlightening, encouraging, and empowering.

     My strengths lie not in those old stereotypes or expectations but in the possibilities of all that we as adults can become over the course of our long process of growing up.

~Madeline